21-year-old aunt babysits her nephew for free, then her BIL freaks out when her schedule changes, insinuating she loves her job more than her nephew: ‘He said this was my responsibility’

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Feb 1, 2026 7:00 PM EST

If you're a tired parent of a 1-year-old baby, it's not wise to scare off the only free childcare options you have in the family, but this man was too entitled to count his blessings. 

Free childcare is an uncommon luxury, but when it comes to family, it's usually treated like a given. Oftentimes, parents will be too tired and too ungrateful to realize how much their family is sacrificing for their sake, but every now and then, it's important for the whole village to set healthy boundaries regarding other people's children: Even if it's their favorite nephew. 

A 21-year-old was gracious enough to offer two Sundays every month to babysit her nephew, and naturally, the parents were thrilled to expect a break every so often. However, after a 40-minute commute started taking its toll, the young aunt started feeling the exhaustion of parenting, and it wasn't even her child. She loved her nephew, of course, cherishing every moment with him, but with a career of her own to focus on and a budget to keep a tight grip on, she had to start prioritizing her own life. These boundaries protected her life balance: Not her sister's, not her nephew's, and certainly not her ungrateful brother-in-law's. 

You'd think that if you had people in your family willing to babysit your kid for free every now and then, you would do anything to maintain that relationship. Here's a crazy idea: maybe even act grateful for their services to your family, saying remarkable things like, "Thank you!" and "I appreciate everything you do for my baby!" However, the entitled brother-in-law in this next story seemed to think that the entire world revolved around him and his needs, selfishly guilt-tripping his sister-in-law because her life schedule changed.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • Tired aunt holding her baby while applying for jobs.
    via Kaspars Grinvalds

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Apparently, when some people have a baby, they expect everyone around them to take on the responsibility of that child. It takes a village, right? But at the end of the day, the village is ultimately two parents to every kid, and everything else is just a bonus. Being grateful and appreciative of the free babysitters that come along the way is critically uncommon, and despite the “village” notion, at the end of the day, this kid is a parent's responsibility and theirs alone. 

    Aunts and uncles are amazing bonus adults in a kid's life, but at the end of every day, it's the parents whose responsibility is it to take care of a kid, and no amount of guilt-tripping will change that. Lucky for this young woman, the 21-year-old, she decided to prioritize her career early, setting up healthy boundaries between herself and the in-laws before she got too deeply entrenched in their parenting expectations. Someone needed to remind this entitled dad that, while she loved her nephew, that boy wasn't her kid… It's his. 

  • "AITAH for telling my brother and his fiancé I can’t babysit every second Sunday anymore?"

    I (21F) have a brother (27) and his fiancé (27F). They had a baby in November 2024. Before the baby was born, my sister (23) and I agreed to babysit every second Sunday once they went back to work.
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • At the time, I was working casually and had a flexible schedule. By mid 2025, my work and personal commitments changed. I gave them notice that I couldn't keep committing to every second Sunday. I said I could still help once a month. My sister continued doing the fortnightly babysitting.
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • My brother didn't take this well. He said it was "pretty piss poor effort" and that I knew this was my responsibility. I told him I agreed to help when my situation was different and that I was still offering to help, just not as often.
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • He replied that if it wasn't for my sister they'd be "completely fucked over" and that I couldn't use holidays or events to get out of this. I told him the way he was speaking to me was part of why I didn't want to keep committing, but that I was still willing to help once a month.
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • Part of why I reacted that way is because growing up I wasn't treated very well by my brothers and there was physical fighting at times, so being spoken to like that as an adult just brought a lot of that back up for me. He then said:
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • Man looking uninterested while scrolling on his phone.
    via Mamouhd Yayahoo

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "If you don't want a relationship with your nephew that's cool. If you're going to pick and choose when you want to be around, you can go do your own thing. You're a professional victim. This isn't about you. You're delusional."
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • After that (August 2025), I stopped speaking to him and his fiancé. Since then, I've left the family group chat due to feeling extremely uncomfortable in this and found out they've been talking about me behind my
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • back, including saying no one. would hire me and calling me "scat." My mum has tried to talk to my brother about how I've been treated and cut out, but he and his fiancée don't care and don't want to resolve it.
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • I've been told I should apologise for backing out of the babysitting, but there's been no apology for how I was spoken to or for the ongoing behaviour. I'm also not invited to another brother's wedding because they don't want me there.
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • AITAH for saying I couldn't babysit every second Sunday anymore?
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • Aunt holding a baby and applying for jobs.
    via Kaspars Grinvalds

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
     

  • Edit: as people are asking, this was completely unpaid and we even had to provide our own food as we are there for 8 hours and it is a 40 minute drive each way.
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • ingridible9 NTA. I wish your sister would stop babysitting for them too so they can actually face consequences for being such assholes.
    via ingridible9
  • OP Wide-Interaction-527 My mum also babysits for them 3. days a fortnight and has stopped working to be able to do this →
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • Commercial_Ear_3440 You're definitely not the arsehole here and honestly the way your brother spoke to you is way out of line. You agreed to help based on your circumstances at the time. Your circumstances changed. You gave notice. You still offered to help once a month. That's reasonable. Babysitting is a favour, not a binding contract - and it's certainly not a "responsibility" that can be enforced with guilt and insults. Throwing out lines like "professional victim," "delusional," and threate
    via Commercial_Ear_3440
  • OP Wide-Interaction-527 No payment for the babysitting at all, would be there for 8 hours and we would also have to pay for our own lunch or bring our own (not a huge deal but would've been nice considering we were offering them a favour). I left out of the original post that my mum also babysits 3 days a week and has also started doing sleepovers and she provides THEM with dinner when she is babysitting. Criminal
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • shackndon2020 Even family events organized by your mother or sister? Surely your brother can't dictate to everyone who they can invite to events? How did your brother end up such an abusive MFker? Was he the golden child that got everything he wanted or he threw a tantrum?
    via shackndon2020
  • OP Wide-Interaction-527 To be honest there hasn't been many events since that time but Christmas was really low for me as it was organised by my brother and I just flat out wasn't invite to attend family Christmas despite my sister and mum saying I should be. In my opinion, growing up mostly fatherless it seems they have taken on that role too seriously and have learnt how to manipulate both my mum and sister and I can see through it and do not appreciate being treated badly.
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • donname10 Nta but be grateful instead. You've cut the toxic part. Enjoy your sunday and be happy. Ignore the family drama and dont engage. When attending a gathering shows that you dont give AF about them. And just mingle around. Leave as soon as possible. Thats how you stay human instead of a doormat.
    via donname10
  • OP Wide-Interaction-527 I am no longer invited to any family events anymore because of them so it makes it easier!
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • UnusualPotato 1515 Why do they need babysitting on a Sunday? Do they both work then or they just want a break from their responsibilities as a parent?
    via UnusualPotato 1515
  • OP Wide-Interaction-527 They both didn't want to give up working Sundays due to the Sunday pay rates (I live in Aus and I'm unsure if other countries have this)
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • Going NutCracken NTA but how is this your responsibility? You are not the parent of this child. It sounds like you've been the family's punching bag for quite a few years. If they are too inflexible to realize things can change then maybe you don't need them around you. Life is too short to spend time with people who do not care about you. Family does not always mean blood.
    via Going NutCracken
  • OP Wide-Interaction-527 Preach, realising this more and more as the days go on!
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • SoyEseVato They say sh*t rolls downhill. You've accepted being downhill to be included in your family. Why? This is a rule I live by: "If I don't respect myself I can't expect anyone else to respect me." Your family doesn't respect you. Time to change that, you're a grown a$$ woman. It won't be easy. It will hurt. Family will cast you aside. Friends will cast you aside. Haters will hate. Eff them. But, unlike other advice you've received on here, don't close the door on family. You can keep a li
    via SoyEseVato
  • OP Wide-Interaction-527 Love! Well said and I am very appreciative of the support and kind words
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • teamvowels Was he expecting you and your sister to babysit every second Sunday for his kids whole life? NTA
    via teamvowels
  • OP Wide-Interaction-527 My thoughts exactly ☑
    via Wide-Interaction-527
  • Alternative_Side 1772 NTA your brother is being entitled and manipulative. you do not deserve to give him your time to babysit HIS kid and then have that attitude with you. i would've told him his kid not my problem
    via Alternative_Side 1772
  • CentaurSeige Your brother is manipulative AF. And you should verbalize that while also maintaining your highly appropriate boundary. NTA.
    via CentaurSeige

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

babysitting aunt in laws family nephew brother in law
Scroll Down For The Next Article